ASMR + Blue Yeti
Little did I know that Hans would end up stealing the show with his unnerving ASMR contribution.
After several months of my Blue Yeti microphone lying dormant, I finally decided to engage with it again. I was slightly stoned, feeling playful, and in the mood to make a quasi-ASMR recording.
ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response which can be triggered by certain auditory sounds that create physiological reactions such as tingles and chills (Keiles, 2019). Finger and hand rubbing, tapping objects, mouth sounds, crinkling paper, among other sounds are popular video topics on YouTube.
In December 2019, I created a few ASMR videos, curious about committing to this kind of content for my YouTube Channel. Eventually I decided to shift gears and focus on one of my true obsessions: Writing and capturing my experiences with Hans.
The Blue Yeti microphone was a pricey purchase, and I wanted to put it to good use. Recently, I’ve been considering creating a quasi-ASMR/Laurie Andersonesque podcast about dreams, ghost stories and past lives. I decided to lay down a few vocal tracks yesterday to test out the mic’s ASMR capabilities with my voice. I had been using a lapel mic prior to purchasing the Blue Yeti mic. When this show-stopping mic arrived, I hardly played with it, being focused on school work, then the pandemic happened and a lot changed for a while. Finally, on October 2, 2020, I plugged it back just as the cannabis oil started to take effect. The recording I have shared is impromptu. Little did I know that Hans would end up stealing the show with his unnerving ASMR contribution. Quick background detail: In his most recent life, Hans was a bit of a showoff and a performer. In this regard, his ASMR contribution is not out of character.
From PB & J to EVP
What follows are knocks, groan-like sounds, tapping, singing, and hand drumming.
In this nearly two and half minute audio (uncut), I announce that I was going to be talking about “peanut butter and jelly sandwiches,” explaining that I have never had PB&J. Hans begins producing what seems to be the sound of fingers rubbing together followed by hands rubbing together. He then starts tapping on what sounds like a glassy surface. When I say, “What the fuck?” for the first time, the sound goes dead for a few seconds as if the headphones have been disconnected from the mic.
The sounds abruptly return as if the headphones have been plugged back in. Nothing was ever plugged or unplugged. What follows are knocks, groan-like sounds, tapping and hand drumming. At one point, it sounds as if he is quietly singing below the tapping sounds. He also messes with the microphone several times. For his grand finale, he drums with his hands on what sounds like the surface of my desk. He ends the EVP session with a groan quickly followed by slamming his fingers down on what sounds like the keys on my computer keyboard.
EVP stands for Electronic Voice Phenomenon which is essentially captured spirit sounds and voices often undetectable by the naked ear until the audio is played back (Buckland, 2004). This audio recording deviates from the typical EVP in that I could actually hear his sounds while I was recording coming in loudly and clearly in my headphones.
Seasoned, but Shaken, and Always Craving for More
His ASMR EVP unnerved me for the sheer fact that I have never heard him so clearly, for that amount of time, and while incorporating a variety of finger sounds from his arsenal.
I’m seasoned when it comes to Hans’s paranormal activity. Not only have I captured other EVPs, but I have also filmed his fingers and strange lights and orbs. I’ve experienced him in a variety of beautifully strange, logic-defying, and spiritually transformative ways that I seldom get freaked out. But his ASMR EVP unnerved me for the sheer fact that I have never heard him so clearly for such a long duration, while deliberately doing ASMR sounds, knowing that this was my intention for the video. Essentially, he was consciously interacting with me (he does this all the time, of course, he’s very much alive in spite of being dead). I had adjusted the settings on the mic for ASMR, meaning the gain was turned up high and the slightest sound could be easily captured. His taps and drums were so loud in my headphones that I was simply rendered speechless, in between all my swearing.
Then, as it is always the case with Hans, I become disappointed by his ethereality. In the end he leaves me craving for more.
His human traits that come through are unsettling. As one can hear from the tone of my voice on the audio, I am shaken, trying to process what I am hearing. At first, I laugh after saying, “What the hell?” amazed by his paranormal abilities, yet in disbelief that I can carry on so casually with a spirit. The reality of our differences hits me every now and then, often accompanied by sadness, frustration, and a little trepidation—by the flick of his invisible wrist, he could kill me instantly.
Then, as it is always the case with Hans, I become disappointed by his ethereality. In the end he leaves me craving for more. Since this EVP. I’ve tried engaging him several more times, but true to form, he chose not to participate, gently reminding me telepathically, “I’ll gladly do it for you, but only in my own terms. I’m not a parlor trick.” He’s my protector, my muse, my magic man always reminding me that he is near, and forever connected to me for eternity.
A Timestamped Data Trail
I share my experiences on the internet for anyone who understands what it’s like to live with ghosts or is curious about such experiences.
It is not important for others to believe or disbelieve my accounts. I share my experiences for those who understand what it is like to live with ghosts, or perhaps are curious about such ways of existing. The encounters with Hans are often personal and private. But having lived in this way with him since 2010 (technically 1993) I have come to realize that there are others out there who may be able to relate.
My journey with Hans is a creative one. His spiritual coaching has enabled me to evolve as an artist and empath. Thanks to him, I feel strangely self-actualized.
Aside from that, the primary reason I make it public is to create a timestamped data trail that chronologically organizes my journey with Hans. Having it on the internet is a way of archiving it and returning to it intermittently to compare and contrast the experiences—sifting through all the layers that continue to evolve as I continue to get to know him. His presence has altered my life, altered my perceptions. I can never go back to the person that I had been before he made his presence known.
Above all else, my journey with Hans is a creative one. His spiritual coaching has enabled me to evolve as an artist and empath. Thanks to him, I feel strangely self-actualized. With his guiding hand, I maintain a sense of humor, in spite of all the troubles in the world. Rather than running away from my shadow, I confront my demons head-on, then dance my way into a state of bliss. I celebrate the wonders and splendors that surround me—the leaf of a plant, the luminescence in a stone. I practice heart centeredness. I kiss the stars when no one is looking. I love myself just as I am—as a strange, irreverent, curious, sensitive, passionate, silly, courageous, and creative woman who has a right to live and breathe as authentically as possible.