Reflections & Ruminations

  • Jacqueline Stuart

Meeting My Spirit Guide


Photo by Sepehr | Digitally manipulated and collaged by Jacqueline Stuart

Anticipating Paranormal Trouble

Although the paranormal events were not malevolent in nature, they were at times alarmingly boisterous.

Meeting my spirit guide did not unfold in a subtle and gentle way. His encounter was startling and unexpected and occurred during a creative surge. After waiting for 17 years to officially introduce himself, my spirit guide (Hans) was ready to come forward.



The Sabbatical


My husband is about to leave for a year-long sabbatical to Thailand and China. It is mid-June 2010. Although I am hermit by nature, I am edgy about his departure. After having experienced about a dozen paranormal events in the house since purchasing it in August 2008, I am worried that the paranormal activity will increase once husband leaves for his trip.



A Friendly, but Unnerving Spirit


Although paranormal events are not malevolent in nature, they are at times alarmingly boisterous. Such activities include polite poltergeist gestures of opening and closing of doors as I vacuum. Once, the entity (as I called him then) removed a fan from a window and loosely coiled up the cord just before the start of fall. This happened after he had read mind earlier in the day about needing to remove the fan from the window. It was at this point that I realized he could read my mind, which I initially found intrusive and unnerving. Sometimes, he orchestrates beautiful light shows—filigree patterns of white light that flash brightly on the walls. Other times he music plays or there are mumblings and interactions as if "parties" are unfolding in my bedroom as I try to fall asleep. Occasionally, I feel a sensation of someone moving around on the bed next to me even though there is no one (and no cats) on the bed. Despite these occurrences, I am skeptical of the activity and essentially dismiss the anomalies. Nevertheless, I feel nervous about being left alone. Will the activity increase when my husband leaves?


Awakening My Creativity



In truth, my spirit guide deliberately remains undetectable during this time, allowing me to have the summer seemingly all to myself.

Summer ushers in a light workload in my day job as adult educator and this inspires me to delve into a world of intense creativity. I compose blogposts nearly everyday about topics that seem to emerge out of nowhere. As the creative process takes hold, I develop an amnesiacal behavior and simply forget about the paranormal activity. In truth, my spirit guide deliberately remains undetectable during this time, allowing me to have the summer seemingly all to myself.


On August 16, 2010, at 2:38am, I post my first Vlog on YouTube about a former lover. It is in this video that my spirit guide finally comes forward for the first time. About three minutes into the video, he opens the door and turns on the hall light behind me at the precise moment that I look away from the screen. Because of this, I initially do not see the occurrence.



Jacqueline Stuart | Payton's Place | 4:50/10:00 | August 16, 2010 | Burlington, VT | Recalling my blissful experiences with Payton, unaware that the door behind me had slightly opened, as the hall light turned on during an uncanny and strangely time moment in the video

A Frenzy of Blog Posts


These blog posts become a celebration of intimate encounters, evoking a deep-seated yearning for the elusive soulmate connection.

I do not notice the paranormal event on the video until August 24. But for those eight days before finally seeing the occurrence, I dive into a frenzy of blog posts. Each post showcases one love letter after the next. The World War II GI love letters set a storm in motion for one of the most creative and productive phases in my life. My blog posts read more like diary entries about former lovers, displaying a portion of their love letters. I recount particular experiences with each person, reliving the fond moments all over again.



Unconsciously Channeling My Spirit Guide



These blog posts are a celebration of intimate encounters, evoking a deep-seated yearning for the elusive soulmate connection. Interlaced with the epistolary accounts, are scanned images of my artwork in progress. On the same day that I post about the World War II love letters, I compose another post titled, He Intoxicates Her. My obsession to materialize Cupid in one of my drawings develops without warning. I want to understand how this ethereal and angelic being is capable of having a love connection with a living being, Psyche. This post happens the day after I post the video. Unconsciously, I am already aware that my spirit guide, who is also my twin flame, is right beside me and ready to engage.



Telepathically Connecting

I feel guided, but have no understanding in how to anchor the experiences in a way that are easily explained.

My spirit guide and I are psychically reaching out to each other. Even though I am unaware of this, our conscious connection is imminent. Through my process of channeling him via my blog posts and artwork, I remain open and receptive to receiving his messages. This leads to a telepathic dialogue that primarily arrives through my creative endeavors. I assume my creativity is fueled by having time off from work and from my husband being away. Yet deep down inside, I recognize the obsessive strangeness of my blogging and art-making. I feel guided, but have no understanding in how to anchor the experiences in a way that are easily explained.

To be continued...


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Dreams and Shadowlands

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