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Living with Ghosts
(and other reflections)

Apocalyptic Reverie: Doing the Mushroom Shuffle in Berlin



Dutch DJ Eelke Kleijn, spinning tunes into Armageddon. He da bomb!


Apocalyptic New Year's Brooding

I hate thinking about the upcoming year and the ways that I could improve my life. This inevitably leads me to think about all the things that I didn’t accomplish in the previous year.

New Year’s Eve (and day) is not on my top 10 list of favorite holidays. One reason for this is that I hate thinking about the upcoming year and the ways that I could improve my life. This inevitably leads me to think about all the things that I didn’t accomplish in the previous year.


It’s not that I’m opposed to making resolutions. Striving for personal growth and development are good things. They are goals, and goals keep me grounded.

But this year on New Year’s Eve and for two weeks after, I allowed myself to quietly spiral into apocalyptic-what-if scenarios.


Whatever it was, the air was literally feeling strange to me, as if I were being pricked by something that was on the verge of bursting into a volatile nuclear reaction.

Maybe I picked up on the current energy in the world. Maybe I was slipping into a paranoid state. Whatever it was, the air literally felt strange, as if I were being pricked by something that was on the verge of detonating.



The Ominous Death of Bowie


Bowie's time in Berlin during the 1970s inspired his master piece song, "Heroes"
Bowie's time in Berlin during the 1970s inspired his master piece song, "Heroes"

Since then, I’ve sensed that the already unstable world was soon to enter into perilous disharmony.

Actually, I’ve been feeling this weird sensation since last year, more specifically, since Bowie’s death. Something about his passing psychically alerted my senses. Since then, I’ve sensed that the already unstable world was soon to enter into perilous disharmony.


Then the U.S. Presidential elections happened and well, we know how that’s been turning out so far. And he’s not even president yet.



Endless Cold War


Kruschev and Kennedy successfully waded through the mounting tensions and averted a catastrophe. Cooler heads prevailed in that instance.

History will tell us that we’ve been on the brink of a nuclear disaster since the creation of the atomic bomb, not counting the U.S. nuking Japan, because technically, Japan was at a disadvantage. Had they possessed an atomic weapon, the U.S. would have resorted to lesser catastrophic measures for fear of retaliation. Soon thereafter, U.S.S.R. evened out the playing field by building up their own nuclear arsenal, and thus began the nuclear arms race and the Cold War.


The world had a close call during the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962. Thankfully, Kruschev and Kennedy successfully waded through the mounting tensions and averted a catastrophe. Cooler heads prevailed in that instance.


But in today’s political temperament, when megalomaniacal world leaders react before they think (and also have most of the world’s nuclear missiles at their disposal), believing that cooler heads can prevail seems delusional.



Get Out of the Cities! Is that the Answer?


So there I went, into my self-induced anxiety, combing the internet for those kinds of websites that are riddled with doomsday predictions and conspiracy theories. I found a site that addresses nuclear survival, instructing the reader to:

Memorize the THREE top rules for survival. They are:

Number One – Get out of the cities!

Number Two – Get out of the cities!

Number Three – Get out of the cities!


That seems like good advice. Don’t be an idiot. Get the hell out of the densely populated areas that are prime targets.


But where I currently live isn’t ideal either. I live only 6+- hours from NYC and even closer to Boston. If the bombs were to come from Russia and if their Satan 2 nuclear missiles were ready for action, those of us who live in this area would either be burned alive or suffer slow deaths from the fallout.